So, I have been going to Voice Physical Therapy for about 8 weeks now, and it is working! I have learned how to talk again without straining my vocal cords and losing my voice. The best part is that I can sing again :)
Not only am I singing in choir, but solo, too. I never thought that would happen again, GOD IS SO GOOD!
I still have hurtles and must exercises my voice daily in order to get stronger. For the most part, I learned to force air out while talking/ singing. You would be surprised how hard that is. My Doc said to get a pinwheel. I did and now I can make it spin twice as long as when I first started while singing :) The key of coarse is to buzz the lips and get plenty of air in the lower diaphragm. This may make no sense; but it was key to getting my voice out of my throat and into my mouth, which resulted in no pain or lose of voice.
Realizing that you have to learn how to talk again was hard to swallow. I suppose that is how any person feels that has to go through a traumatic experience, like an accident. Rather than just accepting of the situation, thinking that I would never sing again, as I had; I needed to understand that the event (Cancer, 2 surgeries, and RAI abolition) was just like an accident in that I needed to "recover". Just because you "feel" better doesn't mean the hurt is gone.
In the last four years, I hadn't let myself completely heal. I was "stronger" inside (spiritually/ emotionally), but weaker physically. I had allowed myself to settle into a new normal. I suppose that was part of His plan for me. God used my many struggles to show me that healing is not an instant thing. Often people overlook Physical Therapy, I am blessed to have it :)