Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Reality Stinks

Surgery day came and went.  I had the right side of my thyroid removed.  I was healing and got the call.  It was malignant and I had another surgery in 6 weeks.  It was Cancer. It wasn't out of me yet.  
At 33 years old, I would be taking a pill to live... for the rest of my life. 

I realized so many things about my family, myself and God.  I knew that all my boys would support me.  I knew that my time here wasn't over yet.  I knew that my struggle had just begun and that my story would have a purpose.  I knew that God let me go to the right people at the right time.  I knew that He would carry me.

I was even more ready the next steps.  The second surgery was better than the first.  My scar came out better too.  All I had to do was get ready for the Radiation and "the Diet".  The pill wasn't bad at first for the first few weeks after.  I was swollen and unable to put sentences together.  The hair falling out wasn't something that I expected.  GOSH, it was scary.   I was reassured that once I was done and on the steady medicine that would stop.

The radiation was about 6 weeks after the last surgery.  I was completely off the pill for just 12 days and not allowed to drive.  Good thing! Without the medicine a person is unable to think clearly and react quickly.  Oh and the ridiculous no food "real" thing.  OMG, I thought no sugar was bad before this diet!  I was not allowed egg yolks, molasses, iodine, soy, salt, dairy, or processed ANYTHING!  I couldn't even put salad dressing on lettuce (Thankfully, I liked making my own everything).

I went for my pet scan, xray, and blood work, nothing hard there.  The trace dose of radiation was easy too.  The hard stuff started the Abolition day.  I signed an agreement to stay away from people.  I was to become radioactive, no I didn't glow in the dark or pop my own corn, darn!  Somewhere along the line I was selected to have the Highest Low dose 100 mc of radioactive iodine 131 and YES, I had to have ALL the symptoms.  

My husband drove me home while I sat in the back seat in a rain suit on a dry day!  I got to spend the next 14 days in complete isolation.  I had to flush twice and toss all utensils.  After that awful diet I couldn't even enjoy a good sit down meal with my family for 2 weeks.  I stayed in the cold basement with no human or animal contact.  I showered when everyone left the house.  I couldn't drive or tuck my kids in at night.  

To say the least I was ready for a real hugs and love... not just cards from friends.